FAUX NEWS - American Tourist in Italy

"American Tourist in Italy Excited to Visit the ‘Sixteenth Chapel’" by Jeff Boldt (Faux News), Humor Times 6/22/2014

Seeking to broaden his horizons, an American tourist visits Italy

American tourist and college grad, Richard Head, recently decided it was time to get some culture in his life.

Or, in his words, 16th century porn.

After “learning” about the paintings that ornamented the lavish walls of the Vatican’s famous “Sixteenth Chapel,” he logically assumed that this was how all Italians lived and dressed, and so, of course, he wanted to see it for himself.

However, he hesitated for a brief moment because he thought it a bit strange that so much nudity would be found in chapels of all places.  But he didn’t hesitate for long because so much culture awaited.

Upon arriving in the Fiumicino airport, he hurriedly made his way through the tarmac and into the waiting area, fully expecting a cornucopia of lounging flesh similar to what one might find on Mount Olympus.

The disappointment on his face was evident.

However, he quickly recovered and encouraged himself with the knowledge that they probably wouldn’t want to freak people out too much right off the bat, so the airport couldn’t have been a good indicator of the rest of the country.

But, as he exited and made his way to the cabs, he began to wonder if he had made a huge mistake.

“Do you know where I can find the Sixteenth Chapel?” he queried one taxi driver.  “And the other fifteen too if you have time.”

“Idiota Americano, si?” the driver asked in return.

“No, I don’t want a coffee.  Take me to see the good stuff.”

“Per l’amor di Dio!” exclaimed the driver in frustration as he got in his taxi and drove away.