ON THE LITE SIDE - Pledge for Teabaggers

"Take the Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge" from: "pappy", Rightardia 4/3/2010

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will forswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.

Also, I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

• Social Security


• Medicare/Medicaid


• State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)


• Police, Fire, and Emergency Services


• US Postal Service


• Roads and Highways


• Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)


• The US Railway System


• Public Subways and Metro Systems


• Public Bus and LightRail Systems


• Rest Areas on Highways


• Sidewalks


• Public libraries


• All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations--http://grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf)


• Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)


• Public and State Universities and Colleges


• Public Primary and Secondary Schools


• Sesame Street


• Public TV and NPR


• Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children


• Public Museums


• Public Parks and Beaches


• State Parks


• Public Zoos


• Unemployment Insurance


• Municipal Garbage, Water and Recycling Services


• Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)


• Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)


• Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)


• Use of the Internet, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking


• Foodstuffs, Meats, Milk, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies


• Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forgo my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care. I will not use my VA education or mortgage benefits. I will not apply for a VA disability that is service connected under any circumstances or use a VA hospital to cure my service connected illness, disease or condition. I will tear up any disability checks I receive from the VA.

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C. I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

• Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History


• The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments


• The government-operated Statue of Liberty


• The Grand Canyon and other national parks


• The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials


• The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery which was formerly the estate of Robert E. Lee.


• All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forgo their government salary and government-provided health care.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks. Upon reaching age 65, I will forgo Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR ______________.
___________________________ ___________________________ Signed Printed Name/Town and State